Woot! Serena Williams' Ass Is Bigger Than Mine!

Dear My Fat Ass, *

This is like a really, really, really big fat ass day for you. BIG.

Never before in the history of the universe, have I looked at a pic of a celeb in a bikini and felt anything but deep hatred and disgust for myself. NEVER.

Never have I stared at celeb bikini pics for more than 5 minutes at at time without feeling like everything in the world was fucking hopeless and that we're all I'm just doomed to live a life of misery and fatness. NEVER.

Normally, I see pics of celebs in bikinis and I feel compelled to take their little itsy bitsy teeny weeny bikini bathing suit strings and use them to tie them up to a lamp post while I force feed them Cheez Doodles and (gasp!) full fat ice cream.

I hate those motherfucking bikini brigade bitches. Every last one of em.

That is...until now.

Because these pics of Serena Williams in a bikini...with more junk in her trunk than even minez could handle...have fucking changed everything for me.

E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

[i.e. There is hope for me! I matter! I AM someone after all!]

So really, I think there is only one thing left to say:

THANK YOU SERENA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This will truly be the gift that keeps on giving.

And, its not even my fucking birthday.

halleleujah, praise Jaysus,
me.

(WAIT...there's way more where this came from! Read More DFA right HERE)