Now Halle Berry And I TOTALLY Have Something To Talk About (Other Than My Girl Crush On Her, I Mean)

Dear Halle Berry, ***

Thanks for representin'...you rocked it out for me.

What an a-m-a-z-i-n-g show.

xo,
me

p.s. Here's my original "stand" which did end up getting edited a bit:

My mom, Marcia Goldstein really dug the Beatles...and Chinese food...and shopping at TJ Maxx. She was funny, fun-loving, and opinionated. She would have practiced "chocolate" as a religion if it were an option and she was addicted to reality TV. She loved her life and loved her husband and loved her kids, and everything was pretty great...until it wasn't. A back ache turned into Multiple Myeloma...which turned into two stem cell transplants...and then plasma cell leukemia...and then a funeral...and now she's gone. She was 55 years old. I miss her every single day, in every single way that you could ever miss someone..and I'm pretty sure that's never going to go away. But we can all work together to make cancer go away, right?...so let's.

Today's The Day: Stand Up To Cancer

Dear Everyone, ***

Tune in tonight to CBS, NBC or ABC at 8pm for the Stand Up 2 Cancer special.

Shit, tune into all three channels if you want...this shit's gonna be simulcast.

Donate.

Blog it.

Change ur Facebook/Twitter status to: "Stand Up To Cancer" to show your support.

And don't forget to watch for my little snippet about my mom Marcia on the show.

Stand Up,
m.e.

Eff. Cancer: Stand Up 2 Cancer Right NOW

Dear Everyone, ***

Allow me to put my snarky, cussy, know-it-all, pop culture toolbox down for one hot minute in order to tell all ya'll something kinda personal: I fucking hate Cancer.

Like a lot.

I mean, obvies right...who likes Cancer?

Duh.

But I mean I really, truly, madly, deeply hate it.

True confessions: my mom had cancer...and then died. At fifty fucking five years old.

It happened a year and a half ago, and I'm still pretty freaking sad about it....and pretty much always will be, I think.

And there are 5 other people in my family who are, right now at this very minute, dealing with different forms of Cancer. And I know dozens more. In fact, I would be shocked if I knew anyone on this whole motherfucking planet who HASN'T had to deal with cancer in some way shape or form.

And that pisses me off.

And makes me want to do something.

But nobody knows who the frig I am...or gives a shit what I have to say. So thankfully, a whole star-studded group of genuinely famous and legitimately cool mofos got together and are doing something way cooler than anything I ever could have dreamed of: Stand Up 2 Cancer.

And this shit is gonna rock...h-a-r-d.

In one week from today, on Friday, September 5 at 8pm, just about anyone who has ever been splashed across the pages of Us Weekly, is going to join together for one night of eff cancer mayhem. ABC, CBS & NBC are simulcasting the whole tricked out shebang with the hope that awareness will be raised...and millions of benjis, too.

Producer Laura Ziskin, a cancer survivor herself, said this about the event: "There will be laughter. There will be tears. And you'll learn something about how we can turn the outcome of this disease if we just set our minds to it."

Word.

Here's just a teeny tiny shrimp puff of a taste of all of the starz that are gonna be there:

*Jennifer Aniston

*Scarlett Johansson

*Charlize Theron

*Sheryl Crow

*Ellen DeGeneres

*Jack Black

*Rob Lowe

*Jessica Alba

*Carrie Underwood

*Lance Armstrong
*Halle Berry
*Jennifer Garner
*Christina Applegate

And if you call in to make a donation, word on the street is that some of these superstars are actually going to be manning the phones.

OH, and also...check this shit out: This little blurb that I wrote about my mom Marcia (and submitted through the Stand Up 2 Cancer facebook app) is being read ON THE MOTHERFUCKING SHOW! Probably by Jennifer Aniston! or J Lo! or Tom "I heart Scientology" fucking Cruise!

And they're putting my picture up on some huge jumbotron screen...so, uhm...that's kinda cool.

In the meantime, here's a whole list of shit you can do if you want to join me and Stand Up:

*Donate to Stand Up 2 Cancer (duh)

*Donate to me and my brother and sister who are doing a Multiple Myeloma Race For Research 5k walk in Washington DC on Nov 9

*Send in a video or video response like the awesome one above. Tara from When Tara Met Blog put this together with a bunch of other bloggers, and I think it seriously rocks.
*Buy yourself access to some seriously cool Celeb events on ebay, so all your money can go toward Stand Up 2 Cancer
*Host a Stand Up 2 Cancer viewing party and raise some dough

*write about Stand Up 2 Cancer on your blog

*Chance your facebook or Twitter status on Sept 5 to read: Stand Up 2 Cancer to show your support.

Anyway, bottom line: we all need to stand the fuck up, so let's.

me (the real one)