Thursday, April 17, 2008

Justin Bobby is to Modeling What Kryptonite was to Superman

Dear Justin Bobby, *

I'm not sure exactly why I hate you with the intensity of 1,000 fiery burning suns.

I mean, I know some of the reasons that the site of your elfish, bearded face makes me want to stab myself in my eyeballs:

  • You're a fucking tool
  • Your self-importance coupled with your "Mr. Mysterious" act make me violently ill
  • Your rat's nest of a head makes you seem like a homeless person...not a "celebrity hairdresser."
  • You ride a motorcycle
But I myself am flummoxed at the effect you have on me. It's like those giddy, exciting (and inexplicable) feelings of first love...only completely and totally opposite. I'm pretty sure that I'd rather get a colonoscopy or clean the toilets at Port Authority than have to look at your face or listen to your purposefully confounding BS for another millisecond. I think I hate you more than Spencer.

I'm hoping your new gig as a model does not involve any actual speaking parts...and that you never show your stu-pid self on The Hills again.

For realz.

Get lost,

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

HERE HERE SISTER!! Finally someone who hates Justin Bobby as much as I do! What the F is with the I'm so f-ing cool act? You're just a game playing looser. That was fun in grade 5, grow up and start treating people with honesty, dignity and respect (oh wait that means actually someone other than yourself, dick)