Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Hills S4: 12 - JustinBobby Has Planted A Chip In Audrina's Brain And Is Now Controlling Her Every Thought And Action With A Switch On His Bike

Dear Everyone, ***

This week's ep was sponsored by Brandy (did you buy her new album yet?) and the words "disappointment," and "retarded."

And, LO was back!

Of course no one mentioned that she's been MIA, and who knows if we'll ever see her again, but bitch made an appearance at Crown Bar and, I for one, was happy to see that she wasn't dead.

These rumors that LC is peacing out after this season are hella inneresting, b/c she's srsly been fading into the background quite a bit over the last few weeks. She barely had any face time this week at all and, honestly, I didn't even notice.

The big news, of course, is that Audrina and JustinBobby are together again. In order to win back her affections, JB gave one of the most touching, romantic speeches I've ever seen come across a dude's lips. Just thinking about it gets me all misty eyed.

I've transcribed it here for your viewing pleasure (NOTE: Audrina's responses have been redacted, because obvs they don't fucking matter at all):


How's it goin?

I've been thinkin about some of the things that happened in Cabo.

I didn't wanna be that guy...you know what I mean?

I think we have something special. I just think that to be in a relationship, you've kinda gotta be together?

We're a big catch 22.

90% of my time with you is pretty right on. It's really good. When I think of you, I don't think of anything negative whatsoever.

I will pretty much always be there for you.

I want you to be with me

(cue make up sex).

I hope any boys who might be reading this right now are TOTALLY taking notes. In fact, you might just want to print this post out so you can use some of JustinBobby's moves on your own fly honey.

She Pratt paraded her new BF Cameron out in front of the gang, and was crushed when the dude didn't "take Brody aside" to read him the riot act for making her cry once 4 eps ago. Later on at lunch, Spencer and Heidi pointed out to Steph that this was actually a really great reason to break up with his ass and get back on track to being miserable just like they are.

I'm gonna go way out on a limb, bias and predict the action for next week (and this is after my Tivo cut off the last few mins of the ep, so I did not see a preview):
*JustinBobby and Audrina start having problems (again, again, again, again)
*She Pratt breaks up with Cameron
*LC and Brody flirt
*Spencer acts like a douche (Heidi doesn't notice)

Hey, that's kind of an interesting idea...maybe I'll recap the ep next week WITHOUT watching and see how close I am! (read: this is how fucking bored I am).

the rest is still unwritten,

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