Thursday, May 15, 2008

Exactly How Fat Are You Hoping to Get?

Dear My Fat Ass, **

Stop watching this fucking pancake puff infomercial already and just buy the stupid thing.

Your attempts to get our delusional brain to support your efforts by hypothesizing that this is a necessary kitchen tool are both ridiculous and predictable. True, we do use the Magic Bullet quite a bit, but its small and capable of producing healthy snacks like smoothies and salsa.

I get it--It's "pantastic!," but I give it about a week until your evil mind control tricks have me cookin' up cheesy bacon pancake puffs, spicy jalapeno puffs, brownie puffs, cinammon sugar whipped cream puffs and god damned crabcake puffs round the clock. I don't even like crab, but I bet that won't stop me from puffin' em up!

Your reign of terror must be stopped.

Like now.


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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

All I read was Dear My Fat Ass and I can't stop laughing. Love the blog!