Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Do You Want To Be Brody Jenner's Bro Bitch?? I Sure As Hell Do

Dear Brody, *

Congrats on your new MTV show Bromance, bro. I imagine that it will be bro-tastically Brod-a-licious in every sense of the word.

From what I understand, the showtacular will focus on a bunch of Hollywood poser tools (i.e. "bros"), who will compete for a spot in your entourage through challenging competitions and physical feats of strength. Best of all, your bro beaus will be de-bro'd in hot tub elimination ceremonies!

I'm guessing you're probably still working out the particulars of the format-n-all, but in effort to be pro bro, I thought I'd share a few off the top of my head ideas for challenges that, you know, might make your show more Bro-dacious (if that's even possible):

  • Contestants can work up a "visual timeline" (using Photoshop and shit) of what your face might one day look like if you decide to follow in the footsteps of your Franken-bro dad Bruce.
  • Former GF's/acquaintances/friends/frenemies/grrlz/hookers that you've effed can fuck the new guys and then tell you which one is the worst in bed. See ya, bro!
  • Bros can take turns punching your Kardashian sisters in the face (that doesn't really have anything to do with the show, bro, but it still would be pretty freakin' funny).
  • You could ask the bros to write songs about why they think they'd make your best dream team bro, and then have Heidi record them for her new album.
  • You could give one of the grips on The Hills a BJ so he'll tell you everytime they go out on the road to follow Spencer Pratt somewhere. Then you could all go to wherever that is, every single time, and film there so that little douche bag squared gets jealous (again, unrelated to the show, but seriously fucking funny).
Who would say no to bein your bro, brah?

bro-diggity, boo yah, bro bitch,

Related Posts by Categories

No comments: