Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I Love Mariah Carey, And I Don't Give A Crap Who Knows It

Dear Mariah, ***

I've been meaning to write for awhile now though, in truth, I don't really have much more to say than: OMFG, do you look super, smokin' hot.

I heard about your whole new Luscious Pink perfume thing, and that's pretty cool-n-all too, but mostly I just can't get over how bangin' you look in a bikini now. I know that you're an airbrushing junkie from way back, but when real pics leak, and you're former junk is still nowhere near your trunk, the proof is in the pudding.

As long as we're being totally honest, I also kinda love your new album. Shit, I still love your last album. That song you did with Snoop, Say Somethin'--I'm sorry but I dare anyone on the planet to send me a song that can re-motivate me on the treadmill, in the moment that inevitably always comes like 15 minutes in where I feel like saying eff this exercise shit and eating a twinkie, like that jam does.

But let's get back to you in a bikini: Holy freakin Christ.


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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I would do Mariah in a heartbeat...even back from when she was fat. But her music sux.