Monday, June 2, 2008


Dear Metro Muther Fucking Transit Authority,

You think cause you didn't write my ass back the last time I'm done witch u?

Uh uh.

In our weekly edition of why I hate you fucking fucks more than Hitler, lemme get some shit off my chest. I came to some realizations on my commute home from work tonight and I'm starting to get wise to your bag of tricks.

Some companies commit to great customer service, some offer amazing return policies--as far as I can tell, this seems to be to be the mantra you dickwads are most committed to: No matter which train is delayed, or where the "train traffic" problem is located, HOLD THE Q TRAIN.

Ok, can one of you sons of bitches please explain this phenomenon of "train traffic" to me please? You morons act like you're dealing with the Belt Parkway on Friday evening of Memorial Day Weekend for Christ's sake. It's not like you've got all sorts of bitch ass trains hopping on and off tracks without your knowledge. Isn't there some motherfucker...SOMEWHERE...staring at a god damned computer screen watching all of the trains on all of their tracks going wherever the fuck they need to go?? You sure as shit don't send enough of those motherfucking trains to the motherfucking stations to carry all of our tired, worked all day asses back to our motherfucking homefronts in any sort of an orderly fashion, so where is this all this traffic coming from!? And what sort of shit eating traffic is keeping my ass waiting on the Manhattan fucking bridge for 20 god damned minutes?? Are you just sending every fucking train in the fleet to De Kalb avenue and then telling those mofos to just sit back and relax?? WTF???

Also, why is MY Q train always the one being held??? Why don't the N trains get held or the slow ass R trains?? I see trains whizzing by my ass in every direction but up, and I'm sittin there on those tracks like a bitch ass bitch. Fuck! It is a-l-w-a-y-s the Q. Always.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I ever (and I mean EVER) had a seat, but I'd have a better chance of getting impregnated by Clay Aiken than ever getting one.

You assholes make me want to kick puppies and burn flags and shit.

Son of a bitch!

(don't you dare even call me by my name you asswipe)

p.s. I totally understand now why this bitch jumped.

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Anonymous said...

Dear Me, or whoever the fuck you are? I'm the traffic controller from the Q train and I'd like you know you better start walking because there will be no Q train tomorrow. And you can tell all your mother fucking neighbors, that thanks to little ol you, that all you little bitches will be walking to work for the remainder of the week. Then maybe you'll appreciate the Q train when it finally does arrive.

Lots of love,
The Mother Fucking Q Train Controller

Dear Famous A$$hole said...

Point taken, Anon. However, I highly doubt you are the Q train traffic coordinator, b/c that person likely can't read. And even if they can read, they certainly don't know words like "remainder" or the proper usage of to (or too? or two?). So nice effin' try.

Anonymous said...

f u and the q train you rode in on!