Monday, June 2, 2008

For Amanda Lorber, I WILL Throw Down With You, Bitch; Back Off Alexandria Symonds...Or Else

Dear Ms. Symonds, (*?)

I, too, was totally disgusted with your piece in The Spectator in which you saw fit to talk trash about MTV's, The Circuit's, and quite frankly Anyone With A Freakin Brain's, fave-o-rite goofball, Amanda Lorber.

Your analysis of the show was shoddy at best, and at worst, a trivialized deconstruction of what turned out to be a quasi reinvention of the reality show format as we know it. And in my humble opinion, this--the show's success, and the ensuing kudos for MTV-- is entirely due to the show's sassy, roll-with-the-punches, bespectacled anti-ingenue: Amanda Lorber. I assume, Ms. Symonds, that you were unsuccessful in carving out such a unique identity for yourself in high school?

I searched on youtube for any evidence of your own vocal talent, yet my efforts yielded nothing. Based on your comment about Amanda's "loud" and "inappropriate" singing, I was certain I would find a Julliard audition tape at the very least. Amanda happens to have real singing talent...and I'm guessing real acting talent too. Her "Facebook Song" with Cassia is magical and her Mr. Roboto rendition, is nothing short of brilliant, so lets just leave our discussion there, if we may.

I confess that I am not surprised that Alex, the whiny, self-aggrandizing, wannabe cool kid is the "character" you found most relatable. Alex spent the entirety of the show being so jealous of Amanda's well earned position, and so committed to undermining her efforts, he managed to move his likability factor to below that of Giana's on my Cypress Bay totem pole--no easy feat, I can assure you. That you also venture an actual shout out to Giana, the leader of the "back row" crew as, again, a "relatable" character cements the fact that I place absolutely no value whatsoever on your analytical abilities.

I do agree with your point that Amanda presents us with a stark contrast to almost every other student depicted on the show (and I am not naive enough to assume that the worst of the bunch, i.e. the "back row bitches" are a fair representation of the Cypress Bay student body as a whole), however, I think that is a good thing. As an incoming college freshman, Amanda proudly exhibits a zesty self-confidence, a sharp as a knife wit and a true commitment to success and hard work that is hard to find even amongst my own peers (and I am way older than 18), let alone amongst other high school students. "Annoying"?? In what universe?

Amanda is the "character" on The Paper that I relate to wholeheartedly...that I wish I was gutsy enough to be like in high school...and that I'm pretty positive will one day rule the world. And when she does rule the world, Ms. Symonds, how sad it will be when we look back and remember you for nothing more than how truly wrong you got it way back when.


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