Thursday, June 19, 2008

SYTYCD Week 2: It's Gettin' Kinda 'Banoodles' Around Here

Dear Everyone, ***

Wow, thanks to Mia, we all learned a new word tonight: Banoodles, indeed.

I think before we get into all the dancing shit, I need someone to give me some sort of a coherent explanation as to what the eff Mary Murphy was wearing?! For reals, I wasn't sure if this was SYTYCD or Secret Diary of A Call Girl. Whatever it was, it was fuckin banoodles.

I'm gonna ignore Cat's big bird dress, b/c she's super hot and can pretty much pull off anything (unlike my Mary-cakes), but that shit was pretty redonkulous too.

Now for the motherfucking dancing:

Thayne & Chelsea: Wow, everyone hated the crap out of this number, huh? I actually thought it was pretty ok and was totally digging Thayne's guyliner. I will say that its hard to for me not to compare Chelsea to Season 3 winner Sabra, and since I wasn't the hugest Sabra fan to begin with, I'm not really feelin' any connection to her 2.0 reincarnation. I guess I was kinda meh about them, but didn't think their number was quite the steaming pile of turd that the the "ju-jus" made it out to be.

Mark & Chelsie: Who's gonna punch it in on a "fave couple alert" for these two ninjas? I'm probs gonna have to wrestle Mia Michaels to the death, but I don't give a crap b/c I love these two mofos like a fat kid loves cake. I wanted to hate Chelsie from go...I really have--but I totally love the crap out of her. This Argentine tango they did just rocked the hizzy. It was like Mark was fucking her with his eyes all up and down that stage and it was friggin riveting. I'm ready to go rent some Argentine Tango porn.

Will & Jessica: I feel bad for Jess, b/c Will really is way more of a superstar than she'll ever be...but I dug this number a lot. The choreography was totally hot and Cat used the word "gangsta" twice.

Kourtni & Matt: These two are sort of an odd couple for me. I was surprised that I liked their foxtrot as much as I did, but there is still something about them that's just missing, ya know? I get a very strong feeling that neither one of them are going to be around for much longer. That drop that Kourtni did when she literally almost hit the floor and Matt caught her head was s-i-c-k, though.

Courtney and Gev: This was another favorite number of the night for me, and Mia can stick it up her chucha with all that "she wasn't feelin' it bullshit." I think they these two are insanely talented and adorable and also Mandy Moore is just wreckin' shit up with her slammin choreography.

Josh & Katee: Josh is insane, yo. This Broadway number was awesome, and I usually hate this sort of stuff. Tyce Diorio is like the kryptonite to my SYTYCD enjoyment levels, but this was actually fun and super interesting to watch.

Susie & Marquis: Hold the phone: did anyone catch that red, white and blue geometric jumpsuit that that choreographer assistant was wearing during the set up piece? It was h-o-r-r-i-f-y-i-n-g. Ay Carumba, this number was weird. The choregoraphy was jalepeno peppers hot, but Susie was just meh to the miggity maxx.

Twitchington: Whoa...that was totally freakin' mesmerizing. I do sorta/kinda agree with Mia re: Kherrington's smile olympics, however, I still think these two are like the king and queen of the prom all up in this motherfucker. Also, I found this tribute that Jean Marc and his wife choreographed for their daughter to be like waaay more touching than that number Mia put out on the stage last year with Neal and Lacey in honor of her dad. And, Twitch you are soo my boy. Like for reals, dude, I've been hot for you since last season auditions. If you ever need a baby momma, I'm your girl.

Comfort & Chris: Chris + Krumping = totally bizarre. I don't know if I'm just too old for krumping or what, but I don't get it. I did, however, love Nigel's impression of Chris telling his mom that he had to go pee pee. These two are gunna be in the bottom three for shizzie.


Ok, so listen up motherfuckers: you best pick up your cellies and vote while the lines are open. We meet back here tomorrow and I swear to christ, if any of my favoritey faves are eliminated (i.e. Twitch, Will, Joshua, Mark, either fucking Courtn(ey/ie) or Gev) I'm gonna hunt you bitches down and beat you silly one by one...and I'm talkin to all nine of you who read this dope ass blog.

Twitch, I'm your bitch,

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Cathie said...

Mary was totally wearing a "cougar" dress..but aside from that the dancing was awesome.

Anonymous said...

Best post ever. Mia is a bitch. Mark rules. Twitch is already my bitch so f off and Jessica has got to go.

Dear Famous A$$hole said...

Anon 10:02: For reals--back off my man Twitch. I was hanging Twitch posters up in my room and gettin' his name tatooed on my ass-n-shit before you had ever even heard of the dude. He's mine. And so is Will...both courn(ey/ie)'s AND Josh--you can have everyone else.

Cathie: She was cougar'd up the yin yang! I watched a clip of Mary from last week for comparison's sake and she looked great. I'm not sure what happened, but she needs to real shit in big time.

Twitch Rocks said...

I love Twitch too! Can't we share ;) He was on fire last night. And Mary did look ridiculous.