Britney Spears to Sean Preston: 'You Gotta Light, Son??'

Dear Sean Preston, *?

Good for you!

Ok, so you're only two, but so the fuck what?

It doesn't mean that your ass gets a pass on thinking ahead about the sort of shit that's gonna really make you tru cuil kids material.

And as we all know, smoking = cool.

You'll soon come to discover that being popular is like a really intense game of Jenga, but like way harder. And let's not beat around the bush here: with the Brangelina brood on the scene, Lourdes inching her way into hott territory, and Will Smith's kids already looking like they're ready to throw the fuck down with anyone who crosses their path, you don't exactly have a straight shot to the VIP list at Les Deux right now.

So, right on dude (!)...way to keep your eyes on the prize. Obvs, its best to get this party started as early as possible, and you like t-o-t-a-l-l-y get that shit.

The Marlboro Lights were def a great start, but luckily for you your mamz can hook you up with all sorts of other shit that literally screams cool:

*Ciggies (obvies)
*Jaeger
*Weed scrips
*Ex
*Mike's Hard Lemonade
*Brazillian Diet Pills (for your future pussy possee)
*Horse Tranqs
*Coke (sniff sniff, not slurp slurp)
*Ativan
*Jonas Brothers tix
*etc

So, in summary: your enthusiasm rocks, SP. I'd say your future looks pretty fuckin' bright.

Let's plan to go over rehab, tatoos, DUI's, sex tapes, Kaballah and/or Scientology in our next lesson (like when ur three).

too cool for school,
m.e.

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