Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Thanks For Reminding My Husband What NOT To Do, Balthazar Getty (Lesson #1: Affairs)

image: popsugar
Dear My Husband, ***


So, like of course I hope that you love me forever (duh).

But also I hope that when you look at hott girls on the street, you're semi-quickly (I mean, after you've enjoyed yourself for 10 seconds or so) snapped out of ur fantasy with the recollection that, "oh riiight!," you're happily married. It would even be pretty cool if when you're getting a lap dance (only at bachelor parties in AC, right?) even if its just for a second, you imagine my head on that little ho ho's bod. Or does that just ruin everything?


I'm guessin that because you rock and because I rock and because we both are such a rockin' couple, we'll never have to deal with the nastiness or unpleasantness of an actual real life affair. Because like before you'd ever want to have an affair, you'd tell me you want to have an affair (right?), and then we'd talk about it and hopefully you wouldn't have one.

Here's the thing though, if u DO ever find that for some crazy reason you are having an affair (DON'T HAVE ONE THOUGH, K? FOR REALZY), can you at least please have the motherfuckin' decency to not pull a Balthazar Getty on my ass? (but like, again, do NOT have an affair).

Because, I'm pretty freakin positive that your simple, garden variety everyday average affair would be enough to wreck me...but throw in a pic with your hands on some other hot, way skinnier than I am, girl's tits, and I'm headed straight for the motherfuckin snake pit.

Here's a pretty good rule of thumb to stick with I think: Your hands + another girl's tits + flash photography = n'uh uh.

Uhm...yeah. So that's pretty much it. Just wanted to make sure we were on the same page with that one.

Also, can you pick up the dry cleaning??


love to love you,

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