Britney Spears, You Stomped On My Heart, Yet Again, With That Bullshit VMA Nonsense

Dear Brit, ***

I kind a feel a little bit like I did after that Gossip Girl ep last year when we found out that Serena totally did NOT kill anyone. Cause she made it seem like she did and everyone was acting like she did. And the CW built a whole ad campaign around the fact that she was maybe, probably, totally a murderer.

But she really didn't kill anyone...like, not even close.

And after the whole build up slash excitement over the announcement that you were opening the 2008 VMA's, coupled with the memory of that complete and total meltdown you had in front of our eyes last year, and also that leaked video of you maybe rehearsing something special, I started to think that you were ready to seriously wreck shit up.

And I was soooo excited.

Like, REALLY excited.

But. Holy. Freakin. Letdown.

I mean that stuff with Jonah Hill was kinda funny, but the rest of your "not to be missed" opening was like wha??

And the fact that won you three awards...for basically just making a fool out of yourself last year...made zero sense.

And also, your dress looked trashy...and your weave looked like shit.

I mean, Brit....come the fuck on with your hair and your Contrampo Casuals wardrobe already.

Le sigh.

I'm ready to love you again, Brit.

Why won't you let me??

You're [still] toxic-n-I'm slippin under f-a-s-t,
me

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