Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I Hate You Skinny Jeans

Dear Skinny Jeans Designer,**
I don't know who you are, where you live or what your religious beliefs are, but I do know for absolute sure that you really, really suck.

I think that you probably knew good and well that your stupid skinny jeans would only look good on 1 in every 500 women, and I think that you probably didn't care. I think you probably look horrible in skinny jeans yourself. I think you are ugly...and dumb too.

Well, ok--not dumb. You can't possibly be dumb because you've managed to convince thousands of smart, reasonable, college educated women that they should slither their chubby legs into skin-tight, dark wash, $200 sausage casings and then go out into public. That's actually kinda smart--but also kinda evil.

Well, joke's on you bub! According to the Daily Mail, Skinny jeans are O-V-E-R...at least in London. And if they're over in Europe, then they will soon be over here. And let's just say it better happen fast. I'm dreaming of the day I can burn my own fucking skinny jeans. Yes, I actually bought a pair, you SOB.

Screw Off,

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