Ali Lohan Hits the 'I Want to Be Famous' Trail...Hard

Dear Ali, (*?)

Man, a picture really is worth a thousand words.

What a devilishly delicious preview this snapshot represents of the celeb-u-tastic, paparazzi'd, hollywood-ified cluster fuck your life is about to become. Big sis LiLo is safely tucked away behind her big camera and you...you, miss thang, are t-o-t-a-l-l-y ready for your close up, aren't cha??

Well, baby doll, I'm ready too.

While everyone else is planning bar-b-ques, getting spray on tans and having their pits waxed in preparation for Memorial Day, I'm relaxing on my couch. I'm not going to the beach because there is no electricity there or cable, and the only thing I give a shit about on Memorial Day weekend is watching the premiere of your new show on E!, Living Lohan.

I am oh so excited to get this party started with you. If Hey Paula was any indication of what's to come, I think its safe to say that we all have a summer of cringe-worthy, inappropriate comments, ridiculous, overblown reactions, and over-the-top bratiness from you and Mama Lohan to look forward to.

Future superstar? Or Future Train Wreck? I can't wait to find out.

Don't disappoint,
me

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