Dear Everybody, ***
You have got to be fucking kidding me with this piece of shit 90210 promo. Have you seen it?? A little piece of me is dying down deep inside because I have to say this, but this show looks like a big, heaping crap sandwich.
- The original theme music (BOMP BOMP) def gets the old juices flowing, but a scant two seconds in and we've got our first sign of trouble: Brandon 2.0 and Dylan 2.0's lame ass hand shake slap combo. This is bad. Original Brandon did a faux punch--which managed to make him seem both masculine and good natured. These two look look like two whiny, nine-year old girls at summer camp.
- Next we move on to the show's obvious villain--the bad girl daughter of Portia de Rossi from Nip/Tuck who liked to have cocaine snorted off her belly before she performed kinky sexual acts on men old enough to be her father--like her gay mother's lover's ex-husband. Ok, this chick could m-a-y-b-e, possibly be interesting.
- This is West Beverly High's newest young gun
doucheteacher. OMG! I wonder how many eps it will be till this chump is fucking the head cheerleader?
- Some dude has his shirt half tucked in and half out and is wearing a skinny tie. I kid you not!
As if this promo wasn't lame enough, they've managed to come up the single most colosally ridiculously tagline I've ever heard:
“If you wanna live in the Zip, you gotta live by the code.”
I think my ears are bleeding and...yep, I definitely just choked on my own vomit. This is seriously the best you network suits can do? I mean, have you ever even seen Gossip Girl??
Anyway, I hope you make me eat my words CW...I really do. You've got your work cut out for you, but I'm not giving up on you yet.
Bitches for Brenda,