Dear Agyness, **
I don't have anything against you personally and I'm sure you are a lovely, possibly non-annoying woman. But now you're a chanteuse? I am just totally flummoxed.
I love me some supermodels: Heidi, Giselle, Naomi, Cindy...even Janice for Christ's sake. I love reading about supermodels, looking at supermodels and watching interviews with supermodels. But I seriously just don't get you.
Supermodels have long, wavy hair that you just want to reach out and touch. They make you want to buy lingerie and makeup and they all carry it bags and have fabulous sunglasses. You usually look like you're on your way to traffic school after a long night of boozing.
Look Ags, I'm chubby, and shortish and very often leave my house without lip gloss, so I know that I'm really in no position to judge, B-U-T I just don't see you holding your own at the Supermodel Debutante Ball. You're cute and all, but a supermodel??
I'm not going to listen to your song because, frankly, I don't want any reason to dislike you anymore than I do. Maybe you'll do something a little more interesting sometime soon?