Mommy Boozin' And E Cups Suit You Well, Christina Aguilera

Dear Christina, **

Uhm...what the h-e-double hockey sticks is wrong with your skank ho ass!? I can't be positive, but I'm pretty sure, drinking till you black out, acting like an A hole, vomiting in public and getting so trashed you need to be physically walked out of the bitch ass dive bar that's become your home away from home is no longer a favored parenting technique. Christ, Dina Lohan just won a Mother of The Year Award, so its not exactly like the bar has been set that high.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, your tits do look great post baby (E cup, you say?). You know who else thinks your hooters look totally a-w-e-s-o-m-e? And would probably love to be sucking on them right now? YOUR SON. You know, the four-month-old you keep leaving at home during your nightly booze binges? He called the Dear Famous Asshole headquarters earlier today and asked us to print his own DFA letter that went something along the lines of this:

Dear Mom,

Where are you?

I'm hungry.

Max Liron aka Yolkly

I think that pretty much says it all.

Anyway, I'm glad motherhood "makes you feel sexy" and comes to you "so naturally." It shows.

L'Chaim!,
m.e.

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