Monday, June 30, 2008

Dimitri The Lover: I'd Like To Do Things To You That Olga's Probably Never Even HEARD of



Dear Dimitri, *

I know you've probably been getting a lot of slack over the past couple of days over these silly voicemails, but I really hope you've managed to keep your chin up through all this nonsense. I've been reading up a bit on you, and like wow...I didn't even know you were a doctor, Mr. fancypants....with your own website, and dating group, and movie, and everything!

So, uhm, anyway, I'm not usually so forward, but after finally tracking down your phone number, I actually left you a voicemail message on Friday...well, two to be precise.

Just in case you missed it, here it is again (click on the blue arrow)
boomp3.com

Now, I didn't hear back from you and as I said on my last message, that really was supposed to be the end of it.

BUT, I've had a couple of days to think everything over and...I don't know...its just been kinda tough to get you out my head. So, if you are still open to it, I'm willing to give you one more shot. I'm feeling generous, so what the hell.

This post is going up at 12:01AM on Monday, June 30, 2008. Assuming that you might be sleeping already...or working on your script, I'm going to give you until 9AM on Monday morning to return my call. If, however, you cannot get back to me by then, Dimitri, then this is really it. We're dunzo...like 4 eva.

So, if you think you have the courage to stand up and take a real shot at true love for us both, then give me a call back. Otherwise, don't you ever, ever, even dare to ever, think of getting in touch with me again. E-V-E-R.

waiting,
me

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5 comments:

Anonymous said...

DFA, You are so funny and brilliant. Goodbye to Perez Hilton. You rock

ak

Dimitri said...

It's Dimitri...I WAS having a colonoscopy. Call me back, bitch.

Blognigger said...

Fucking WIN. props girl.

M. said...

TOO funny!
So did he call you?

Anonymous said...

Dimitri the Lover is really James Sears.

He's a medical doctor who lost his license for INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR with female patients!

He even runs a medical advising company called The Second Opinion in Ontario, even tho his license was REVOKED.

He was psychiatrically evaluated by the military as screwed-up, and still somehow got a license.

He was ritually abused as a child by mentally unstable parents, and had a problem with masturbating over 10 times a day while on the job...BETWEEN PATIENTS. The link below are only some of many. The Toronto Sun has at least 4 serious articles on this scary excuse for a man:

http://jezebel.com/5020419/dimitri-the-lovers-history-of-sexual-assault-weapons-stockpiling-and-psychiatric-evaluations
http://www.dimitrithelover.com/
http://s.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/web03/2009/7/9/15/dimitri-the-lover-flyer-23401-1247166969-29.jpg
http://brokendoor.com/thought//media/blogs/all/dimitri.jpg
http://www.dimitrithelover.com/toronto_real_men.html
http://torontoist.com/2008/06/remember_dimitri_the_lover.php
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rfez6RxVWV0&feature=related
http://www.blogto.com/tno/2009/03/dimitri_the_lover_exposes_himself/ Dimitri speaking at 15:15 showcasing his jerkish self
http://www.the-peak.ca/article/4413
http://www.torontosun.com/news/torontoandgta/2008/12/31/7891486.html

Also, his own website where he has crude cartoons shows him wearing a t-shirt that says "NO MEANS MAYBE". Wow. That's what we need to teach men today, huh? Last time I checked, date rape was a CRIME and also just a horrible moral wrong, leaving a girl permanently scarred.

And he's angry at any women who speak up, calling them FEMINIST C*NTS.

What a prize. Where do I sign up?

Please. My husband wants to kick his ass. Too bad he's in Canada.
be