Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Kobe Bryant, Stay Away From Shaq's Ass, Cos I've Tasted It And It Don't Taste V. Good

Dear Kobe,

So, this Shaq stuff is some pretty fucked up shit, huh?

I got a few longterm ongoing beefs goin with some bitches, so I know all about what its like to go head to head with sworn enemies. But, I'd still be willing to bet my left tit that you have no friggin' clue what sort of foul, rancid amoeba stank like shit Shaq's ass actually tastes like.

Shaq is lame...and fat...AND he doesn't even speak Italian. Che Cosa Stupida, non?

Anyway, I thought it might be fun to help you write your own freestyle rap. You know, to get Shaq back for his totally off the cuff, not planned at all, completely spontaneous bitch slap. You could then "accidentally" drop your rhymes right on his fat face while you (inadvertently) get videotaped by TMZ in a darkened, E. Village Karaoke lounge/massage parlor.

Now, I'm as white as a bitch can get, but wtf...how bout something like this:

Check it, chek it, CHECK it
I DO know how you be
Your head is like a planet
3 x the size o' me
SO so
You givin' millies a go go
while your ex wife calls the po po
Tell me how my pits rock
lick my fuckin' p.i.t.s doq
lick my fuckin' p.i.t.s doq
What, u think ur ass is funny?
that's like a white boy kickin' it with all your hun-ies
and all your monies
(and all ur monies)
that's like a ho bag rockin it, with all your tummies
your flabby ass tummiesor ur fat camp ton-ies
everybody is everybuddy
lick my fuckin p.i.t.s, doq
lick my fuckin' p.i.t.s, doq

For a rough transcript of Shaq's bullshit, for comparison, check this.

Bring on the Beef!


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