Tuesday, July 8, 2008

I'm Not Sure I'm Smart Enough For You, Lost

Dear Lost,*

Like I don't already have enough fucking things to do 4 u?

Between re-watching your shows, hanging out on the boards, analyzing recut flash forward footage and feeling stupid about still not understanding WTF is going on (not to mention my other SYTYCD, Amanda Lorber and BeKanye responsibilities), now I have to READ BOOKS too!? From the Official Lost Book Club?!

Son of a bitch.

I may as well just quit my job so that I can focus on giving this shit the sort of non-stop, full throttle daily attention it requires. You know what, though?? I'm not even sure THAT would do it.

I've been giving this all a lot of thought, Lost, and I think I've come up with a reasonable solution: a Lost Scholarship! You know, a yearly stipend to be awarded to the most dedicated and industrious of all Lostie fans who have demonstrated a full bodied and all consuming commitment to the study, analysis and prostelyzation of anything and everything LOST. You could award ten scholarships or so to people like me (i.e. your most kick-ass'd loyal fans) and then we'll all quit our jobs, sit around all day dissecting every little nook and cranny of every episode all the while spreading the Lost gospel far-n-wide.

I think $75,000 per annum, would be resonable.

Let me know your thoughts.

U R my constant,

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