Wednesday, July 2, 2008

It's Kanye West's World...We're All Just Livin' In It

Dear Everyone, ***

Yet again, Kanye has just T-O-T-A-L-L-Y made my motherfuckin' day!

True Confessions: I've gotten a bit of a reputation recently amongst co-workers, friends and family, for my over the top KanYAYing (for those that don't know, this is the act of heaping relentless praise on any Kanye condoned product, song, idea, or hot semi-naked bitch that may or may not have recently been featured on his blog). Just the other day, for instance, I was involved in an intense game of Connect Four with some dude I met in front of Nathan's at the food court in the South Street Seaport Mall, and he was all: "If you're just gonna keep Yay-ing Kanye all day, then I'm gonna be on my way, honey" And I was all: "Uhm, you sound like an idiot dude...its KanYaying, not Yay-ing Kanye."

Anyway. Uhm, I wanted to just report to anyone else out there who was taking on the BE MORE LIKE KANYE challenge, (and I truly hope that I'm speaking to like hundreds of millions of you), I've been taking the BeKANYE tablets now for a couple of days and I'm feeling fucking phenomenal!

If you are already on medication, however, and are at all concerned about whether these BeKANYE tablets are right for you or not, I completely understand. I spoke AT LENGTH with my GP regarding whether or not these were a good fit for me in light of my currently vast prescription cocktail. Luckily for you, (i mean, like just in case you're too poor to afford a real doctor), they have a handy readiness quiz on the BeKANYE website that you can take to see if this program is a good fit for you:

Don't tell me what your answers were (!), but how did everyone do??

I don't know about all y'all, but I was like super duper inspired by Oprah's 21 14 (?) day vegan detox. For me this is like the same exact thing except instead of giving up animal products, I'm giving up my former loozer self in exchange for my new and improved KANYE-ified self. I mean, hello?? It's pretty much a no brainer.


Like, here's some shit that's happened to me since I've been snarfing my BeKANYE tabs...facts are facts:

*I was on the subway this morn and some dude got up, freeing up his seat. This older woman started walking over and frontin' like she was gonna take the seat and I was like: BACK THE FUCK OFF BITCH, THAT SEAT IS MINEZ. YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM!?
*I had this big deadline at work yesterday, and like right before all my shit was due, I walked right the fuck out of the office, got myself a mani/pedi, then sat at Starbucks for my free two hours updating my Myspace page.
*Some homeless guy said to me: "DAMN GIRL, you got it goin onnnnnnnnnn to-day!" and then tried to lick my cheek.

And that's been like just the past two days!! You do the motherfuckin math...seems like BeKANYE is the god damned way to be.


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