Thursday, August 28, 2008

Miley Cyrus 'Peeny'-Bopper Candy...Good To The Last Drop

Dear Miley, ***

Oh, Hai.

So I don't know that much about how this whole Hollywood, juggernaut thingy works, but I would guess at this stage of the game you probs have a whole team of people who just sit around brainstorming ideas about further ways to merchandise your ass.

And considering you're more famous than Jesus Christ now, obvies you guys would have all the basics handled like lunchboxes, notebooks, tshirts, books, scuba gear, etc.

But, like also, you're not just a TV star anymore. You had that whole Hannah Montana concert movie that made a bajillion dollars and now you do real concerts too.

So like, OF COURSE, one of your "people" was probably sitting around with another one of your "people"...gettin' high and brainstorming...and someone came up with the brilliant idea of doing Hannah Montana Candy.

Cause, of course, kids will come to the Hannah Montana concert, buy the Hannah Montana tee and the Hannah Montana lunchbox and then they'd be sitting in their seat all hungry-n-shit and be like "Mom...I WANT SOME HANNAH MONTANA CANDY! PLEEEEEASSE!"


Fucking, genius.

I mean kids love candy....and always want something to eat at why the fuck not?

So someone probably pitched the idea, and researched manufacturers, and taste tested flavors and the whole nine yards. This could have been going on for months...or maybe years! And finally, (HOORAY!), after all the hard work, and planning, and strategizing, Hannah Montana sweet and sour candy is here!

Oh, uhm...but the only hitch is: your candy looks exactly like big, hard hairy cocks.


Well, at least this will serve as a good distraction for peeps should a whole new round of SeXXy Miley iphone pics surface today!

best of both worlds, indeed

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

omg! it totally does!!! genius!