Dear Everyone, ***
I'm not really quite sure what all the motherfuckin fuss is about here, but as we try to be somewhat timely with our correspondence, I guess we need to acknowledge the fact that some semi-sexy, but barely any big deal whatsoever photos of Miley Cyrus have surfaced.
Of course, by "surfaced" we mean some perv hacked into her iphone, probably scrolled through thousands of sweet and completely innocent photos and then came up with these few semi-controversial ones. Allegedly, these were some pics that she sent off to Nick Jonas, (one of the Jonas Brothers--but don't ask me to point out which fucking Jonas b/c I have no friggin clue) when they were dating.
Here's what I have to say about this whole goddamned ridiculousness: WTFMF's?
Jamie Lynn Spears just gave birth to a freakin baby at 17; Emma Watson routinely gets snapped wearing see-through panties; Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie and half of Beverly Hills High School have been to motherfuckin jail! Are we really all up in arms over a photo of Miley in the shower with her tshirt on!?
True, I guess after the VF controversey this is all slightly more juicy, but COME ON PEOPLE. Really!? You should see some of the pics I have on my iphone! Let's just say that they would make these Miley wet tshirt snaps in the shower look like passport photos.
I'm a little surprised by it myself, but over the past few months I have developed some mad love for Miss Miley Montana. I think we all just need to leave this bitch alone and let her have her good, ole teenaged fun. If she were my daughter, I'd be dancing a fucking jig..."You mean you're not knocked up? You didn't get pulled over with cocaine in your car? You're not doing horse tranqs with Amy Winehouse in the bathroom?"
Also, Miley's in a motherfucking dance off, people, so that's like a lot of pressure for a young girl to be dealin with--show some God damned respect!
Mad for Miley,