Dear Michael Phelps, ***
So, like a few people are pretty pissed off at your ass over the fact that you chose to grace the box of sugary sweet, not a vitamin in sight Frosted Flakes, over the fiber-rich, vitamin fortified, disgusting tasting Wheaties.
Apparently Frosted Flakes has 3x the amount of sugar and 1/3 of the fiber that Wheaties does, or some shit like that, and everyone is concerned about the message this will send to all the kids who'll be worshipping the ground you walk on post Olympics.
Uhm, what's the prob people??
Of course this sends a message to kids!
And the message is this: SUGAR TASTES VERY FUCKING GOOD!
And, also the message is probs a little bit this: If you eat Frosted Flakes, you rule (and could totally be a future Olympic athlete) and if you eat Wheaties, you're a pathetic loser (who probably can't even make the team).
I for one say, thank you, Michael Phelps, for pointing out this very obvious shit to some very clueless people.
Now as a public service to all my bias, I decided to take my ass straight out to Key Food and purchase a box of Frosted Flakes AND a box of Wheaties so that I could perform a scientific taste test in my own kitchen and decide once and for all, who's in the right here.
As suspected, the test results were as follows:
Frosted Flakes = completely fucking delicious (ate two bowls)
Wheaties = a tastebud abortion (could not eat more than two bites)
It's hard to argue with the truth, people.
Anyway, Mikey, I'm really starting to think that you and I should totally get together for breakfast!