Dear People Magazine, *?
I guess the $14 millies you shelled out for the Brangelina deuce baby photos were worth it, because for the first time in my life I'm actually planning to go buy one of your stupid magazines today.
My only question is this: why only 30 pages?
For $14 million dollars I would have plastered the whole fucking magazine from start to finish with Knox & Vivienne. In fact, not only would I require that their little baby asses make it onto every last fucking page, but I would have also insisted that they pose for every goddammed advertisement that appeared in the issue as well.
Knox & Vivienne have no more tears with Johnson & Johnson Baby Shampoo!
Viv & Knoxy can Taste the Rainbow with Skittles!
Vivi-Knox: Are They Ready for safe and effective weight loss with Alli?
I mean, who the christ is doing your negotiating over there anyway?
Ok. Fine. Whatever. You loozers keep runnin' shit however u want.
All I'm sayin is that these better be the 30 most baby-tastic, baby-licious, afrika boom-baby-bata spec-twinsy-tacular pages of double deuce baby fabulousness that I've ever layed my peepers on.
In other words: I wanna be totally Knox-ed out.