Dear Everyone, ***
I'm pretty sure tonight was the single stupidest ep of The Hills in like the history of the universe.
I sort of feel like I say that every week, but I really mean it this time.
I think its pretty safe to say that when I'm actually missing Lo, things have gotten just about as bad as they can get.
I mean, I'm literally sitting here feeling bad for Stephanie....and for Heidi's mom Darlene...and for Holly...and even for fucking Heidi. And I hate allll of them.
Here's what happened in 140 characters or less (easily Twitter-able): Doug pretended like he didn't like Steph (probs after they fucked), and Heidi's mom Darlene came to visit to try to break Spence & Heidi up. Fini.
Of course Heidi defended her superdouche BF until she was blue in the face; and of course everyone threw ShePratt under a bus b/c she's the show's new martyr, and eventhough the whole thing was mos def her fault, she used to be a drug addict and she's caught in the middle of Speidi & LC's fight and she has no friends, and blah, blah, fucking blah.
She'll probably show up next week pregnant with Doug's little burrito baby...eventhough they just went out for dinner and coffee.
So anyway, the story is: Doug didn't really even want to be friends with Steph, but he felt bad for her b/c she's like a lost little puppy. So he responded to her late night booty texts really just to be nice...cause he has no interest in for real getting involved with a basket case like that. But LC is pissed anyway...and so is Brody...and Frankie is probs mad too just by osmosis.
Darlene went out to "talk things out" with Spencer and ended up getting bitchslapped for daring to give a shit about her daughter Heidi in the first place. Cause Heidi belongs to Spencer now, and if he doesn't give a shit about her, NO ONE CAN.
Also Doug, the Burrito King, had a pool party and splashed Lauren and Whit when he cannonballed into his pool. Which was, actually, kind of funny.
I srsly miss Lo...I'm not kidding.
the rest is still unwritten,
please help m.e.