Dear Everyone, ***
During a day of horrendous fucking news to rival all horrendous fucking news...while I sit here and literally watch the remotest possibilities of my ass being able to retire before I'm in my seventies get flushed down the toilet like a dirty tampon...as my dog sits staring at me unsure if his designer, organic food is going to actually hit the bowl tonight after all (it did, duh), there was one little sliver of sunshiney deliciousness that made this day a touch less suicidal: Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are maybe back together.
I have no clue why I have somehow decided to pin the success of our nation on the positive or negative status of this relationship, but whatever.
And, so I have come to the following conclusion: If Sarah and Jimmy are legitimately back together, then everything will work itself out with the economy, the election, et al and we'll all be ok.
If they're not and this is somehow a huge misunderstanding, we're all fucked up the ass by a Haitian AIDS monkey.
No, this isn't exactly scientific, but also I'm probably right.
Sarah-n-Jimmy 2Getha 4eva (say it with me now).
L'shana Tova, bitches,