Dear Josh Peck, ***
So, I'm in my thirties...and married.
And like I am fully aware that I have absolutely no fucking business developing an insane crush on a 21-year-old Nickelodeon tween heartthrob.
Holy. Freakin. Hotness.
I mean, after seeing The Wackness (and that freakin shower scene! Gah!) I was already primed to hang posters off your ass all over my motherfucking bedroom.
And because I'm kinda falling madly in love you with you, I decided I needed to go go gadget google, and learn as much about you as I possibly could.
So I found this youtube video of your appearance on Jimmy Kimmel after The Wackness premiered. And now I'm just fucking w-r-e-c-k-e-d.
Like, I want to do things to you that are illegal in 49 states. Very, very bad things.
(must. take. cold. cougar. shower).
I mean: you're gorgeous...and funny...and adorable...and I CAN'T FUCKING HANDLE IT.
I kinda "wanna be your official girl."
Like, a lot.
Also, I'm now SERIOUSLY pissed at Olivia Thirlby's character in the movie for not immediately and hopelessly falling in love with you...like I have [HARD].
"I look at the dopeness, and you...you just look at the wackness," I mean, hello!?
I'm pretty much ready to break me off a piece of ur brand of cougar drumstick anywhere, anytime, Joshycakes.