Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Lindsay Lohan & Samantha Ronson: U R My Inspiration (Check My Myspace If U Don't Believe Me)

Dear Dad, ***

If you don't already have a myspace page, I suggest you get one tout de suite.

In case you haven't gotten the memo, kids these days have totally embraced technology. In fact, most are now using their myspace pages as their primary means of with their parents.

I mean, why call when you can just check my "current mood"?? Emailing's aight, but if I've got something to say to you, I may as well tell everyone.

I think this fucking rocks!

And I, for one, am implementing this policy immediately.

Until further notice, I will only be communicating with you via myspace "mood" status updates and Kanye West inspired all caps rants. That's how you'll know I'm talking to you.

Even if I don't say "HEY DAD," you'll know whenever you see anything like this:


That I'm talking directly to you.

Also, sometimes I'll use songs to communicate what I'm feeling. Like maybe you'll just show up one day to my dub dub dub and I'll be playing a Pussycat Dolls song. Or maybe it will be a Tokio Hotel song. And, like, its gonna be up to you to figure out what that shit means...what sort of comment that is (or not?) on my life right now.

Sometimes it won't just be the song you'll need to analyze, it might be the lyrics. So, don't forget to dig a little deeper.

Basically, everything will be coded in meaning and its gonna be up to your ass to crack it if you have any desire whatsoever to understand who I am as a person.

Fun, right?

Hopefully things won't ever reach the point with us where I need to call you out like LiLo and SamRo did with Lindz's dad, but if you promise to never write a tell-all book about me, we should be totally good in the hood!

Ok, so just cause I don't want to leave you hangin, click here for a rad myspace tutorial that you can use to brush up on.

In the meantime, I'm out.

myspace or no space,

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