Dear Sarah Palin, *
So, congrats on the Republican Veep nod-n-all.
Thanks to magic of the Jet Blue back-of-ur-seat TV's, I was able to catch your little acceptance speech on Friday in Dayton en route to my Labor Day festivities.
And so, I've had a few days now to marinate over the fact that you genuinely seem like a crazy, right wing, gun-toting, Tina Fey lookin' bitch...which is cuil. I guess. At least for all the peeps who are into crazy, right wing, gun-toting, Tina Fey lookin' bias.
But that's not what I really want to talk about.
Your shout out to former Hillary supporters was clever (slash ridiculous), but despite your
not even remotely compelling argument, I'm not quite ready to abandon my commitment to a woman's right to choose, gay rights or gun control just cuz you both have vajayjays.
Nice try though.
(But that's still not what I really want to talk about).
I also noticed that you didn't give any shout outs to teen pregnancy (Baby Bumps, hollah!) during your acceptance speech, even though it appears that your 17-year-old daughter is
a slut totally knocked up herself.
But whatevs...that's not even what I'm really interested in getting at.
I got beef that goes way deeper than all this surface shit...and here it is:
(I just threw up a little bit in my mouth).
These are the very, very unfortunate names of your five children (like, for reals?) and, quite frankly, this is where I think we should all be focusing the majority of our attention.
Cuz this shit is: Fucked. Up.
Individually, these names represent various levels of offensiveness and ridiculosity (from very very stupid in the case of Trig, to only mildly nausea inducing for Willow), but its the collective impact that the five names together have on the question of your judgment that cannot be ignored.
You are clearly not cut out for making any motherfuckin decisions for this nation.
I do agree that we're all entitled to some slack every now and again, but this shit just pushed way beyond even my own motherfuckin limits for tolerance (and might I remind you that the bar is already set pretty darn low).
Looks like I'm still sittin pretty on team Joe-Bama.
Proven Protection...that feels really good!,