Tuesday, September 2, 2008

ATTN Baby Name Book Writers: Step The Fuck Away From Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin, Right The Fuck Now

Dear Sarah Palin, *

So, congrats on the Republican Veep nod-n-all.

Thanks to magic of the Jet Blue back-of-ur-seat TV's, I was able to catch your little acceptance speech on Friday in Dayton en route to my Labor Day festivities.

And so, I've had a few days now to marinate over the fact that you genuinely seem like a crazy, right wing, gun-toting, Tina Fey lookin' bitch...which is cuil. I guess. At least for all the peeps who are into crazy, right wing, gun-toting, Tina Fey lookin' bias.

But that's not what I really want to talk about.

Your shout out to former Hillary supporters was clever (slash ridiculous), but despite your not even remotely compelling argument, I'm not quite ready to abandon my commitment to a woman's right to choose, gay rights or gun control just cuz you both have vajayjays.

Nice try though.

(But that's still not what I really want to talk about).

I also noticed that you didn't give any shout outs to teen pregnancy (Baby Bumps, hollah!) during your acceptance speech, even though it appears that your 17-year-old daughter is a slut totally knocked up herself.

But whatevs...that's not even what I'm really interested in getting at.

I got beef that goes way deeper than all this surface shit...and here it is:



(I just threw up a little bit in my mouth).

These are the very, very unfortunate names of your five children (like, for reals?) and, quite frankly, this is where I think we should all be focusing the majority of our attention.

Cuz this shit is: Fucked. Up.

Individually, these names represent various levels of offensiveness and ridiculosity (from very very stupid in the case of Trig, to only mildly nausea inducing for Willow), but its the collective impact that the five names together have on the question of your judgment that cannot be ignored.

You are clearly not cut out for making any motherfuckin decisions for this nation.

I do agree that we're all entitled to some slack every now and again, but this shit just pushed way beyond even my own motherfuckin limits for tolerance (and might I remind you that the bar is already set pretty darn low).


Looks like I'm still sittin pretty on team Joe-Bama.

Proven Protection...that feels really good!,

Related Posts by Categories


Anonymous said...

omg, genius once again. this woman is out of her ever lovin mind, case it point-BRISTOL.

god help us all.

Anonymous said...

Obama/Biden all the way
Stay far away from Sarah Palin,
People listen to the writing of the genius of DFA

Anonymous said...

wow, could she be more cruel? i mean TRIG??? for cryin out loud! that poor child. as if having down syndrome wasn't enough.

Anonymous said...

You can sit back and degrade and criticize people for what they name their children when your mother has nothing much to be proud of. Maybe people would take you more seriously if you would use less profanity and more common sense...grow up and get a life. Look at the issues not personal choice of names for their children.

Atlanta Cougar said...

You are a genius and I love your blog!
Regarding Sarha,anyone can read a teleprompter.....anyone with a 4th grade education.......putting the knocked up daughter and retarded son,Sarah Palin is a wanna be Jon Benet beauty pageant winner who took a 5 year plan in a 3rd rate college and reduced the budget for teenage pregnancy awareness programs in Alaska and is in the deep pockets of the big oil lobbyists. Don't even get me started....I have been blogging about Sarah for days. How boring since I usually blog about all of my guilty pleasures.

Atlanta Cougar said...

Please excuse my typos. The page loaded before I was able to make corrections.

Anonymous said...

wow. if you guys are seriously basing your opinion of her off the fact that her kids have odd names... you guys need help