We Came, We Saw, We Emmy'd

Dear Everyone, ***

A few quick thoughts on last night's (mostly) boring as shit Emmys:

• Sorry, Josh Groban: I guess this medley was sorta cool, but also it like really freaked me out for some reason. Anyone else?

• Heidi Klum: You need to hold onto your Project Runway job with all your might, cause you were by far the suckiest of all the hosts...followed by Tom Bergeron. (sidenote: Emmys, please don't ever pull that 5 host shit again. Massive FAIL).

• Yay for Damages! Srsly, people. I know that you don't watch this show. I know this because NO ONE watches this show and I have no fucking clue why. I downloaded Season 1 on itunes and spent the next 36 hours literally hanging on every last episode like it was crack cocaine. It rocked my fucking world. ATTN: Everyone whose eyeballs are currently reading this shit: WATCH THIS SHOW! You will love it. You will want to fuck it and will probably ask it to marry you. Promise. (sidenote: Boo FX for doing the worst advertising/pr campaign in the history of the whole entire world for these people).

• Yay for Tina Fey and 30 Rock and snarky, funny girls who wear glasses.

• Those bizarro TV set intros = WTF??

• Ricky Gervais was pure perfection and should have been hosting the whole fucking show.

• The no political discussion rule was annoying, though I guess I also would have been annoyed if every single presenter and award recipient was going on and on and on about the election. Ok, so fuck it...maybe it was a good idea.
  

• Fashion: LOVEd Jane Krakowski in her Versace Dress and Brooke Shields in her flouncy, pinky number, and Olivia Wilde ; HATEd this turquoise number on Mary Louise Parker (= v. bad color for her).

• Eva Longoria Parker is so 100% preggo and she keeps denying. S'like, look bitch. I'm sorry that you are constantly asked this question...and it should be something that you could keep private if you were no one...but you are a celeb and that's just that. So, just fucking admit it already!

• Lauren Conrad got to present an Emmy award!? As in LC? Also, she was on stage for about 12 mins!? W.T.F. for serious?? You know I love me some Hills, but that shit was ridick. I was waiting for the cast of the new 90210 to come out or maybe a few of the rich bitches from My Super Sweet 16. I refuse to believe that my standards are higher than The goddammed Emmys.
  

• Yay for the Pivert and his award for Best Supporting Actor, but that speech blew. Still love me some Entourage, tho.

• After finally finding a hairstyle that really, truly worked for an awards show, (at the offscreen event they do before the big one on TV), Kathy Griffith went and fucked it all up again with her Rapunzel hair extensions last night. They were grody to the max.

• I feel like 7/8 of this show are devoted to mini-series that I have never even fucking heard of. It's soooo borrrring.
  

• After that non-opening, that ending was truly bizarre. I had no idea that the show was even over, but I guess the horrible hosts had been going on too long at that point with all their totally unfunny banter. And so someone thought it would be hilair to just let Jeff Probst literally die on the stage in front of us. And it was...kinda.
  

I just don't understand how a show that is all about honoring amazing TV, always sucks chocolate salty balls? Like ALWAYS?

Whatevs,
m.e.

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