SYTYCD Week 6: Dr. Spank-En-Stein Was Hoppin On The Love Boat While We All (Yet Again) Got Buck

Dear Everyone, ***

Ok, so that Jessica bullshit was a little over the top, n'est-ce que pas? I mean, we all knew that somethin somethin went down, so exactly why did she need to come out in a micro-mini to deliver the news that she had two broken ribs and a dislocated vagina? That was so not buck.

After such a hot time at Prom last week, Mary obvs got dressed up for the annual SYTYCD Homecoming Gala. And I think after the loss we all took at the Powder Puff football game this afternoon, I for one was happy to see her glammed up like the fierce cheetah she is. Nigel was wearing one of his Gap clearance rack washed denim shirts, so he clearly did NOT get the memo about the Summer Formal.

Lil' C was an interesting addition to the judges panel, but I def think I prefer him choreographin shit up rather than breakin it down.

Also, for those of you who are as out-of-the-closet pathetic as my ass is, I'll see you on November 6th at the Prudential Center in Newark for the SYTYCD Tour.

Now for the motherfucking dancing:

Courtney & Joshua
Dance #1
Choreographer: Dave Scott
Hip Hop
Well, well, well, what do we have here?...a hot ass new motherfucking pairing, that's what! Courtney's hair and weird makeup job was slightly distracting, but aside from that I loved this number. Josh flies under the radar sometimes, but he's a serious Spank-enstein superstar. And Court stepped up to the plate here in a gigantic way---I'm sorry but Nigel was WRONG, wrong, wrong! Also, where the eff you been all my life, Dave Scott? Tab-poleon have been holding their own around these parts fer sure, but fina-freakin-ly we've got another hot hip hop choreographer on the scene who doesn't suck a dizzle as much as Cecily and Olisa.

Dance #2
Choreographer: Jean-Marc Generaux
Rhumba
Go on which your bad self Joshie...bustin' out with the tight pants again. Mmmm Hmmm. This was awesome and hot and crazy/sexy/cool. These two had a killer night and they both better be safer than Ft. Knox tomorrow or I will hunt all you bitches down one by freakin one.

Mark & Kherrington
Dance #1
Choreographer: Ronnie & Brandi
Country Two Step
Wow...we've finally uncovered a style of dance that's cheezier than West Coast Swing. I. Hate. Two Step. Also, (and I KNEW this would happen), I miss Mark and Chelsie in a really, really big way. I was not feelin' these two vibin' on each other at a-l-l, so that didn't help matters. I wasn't even really noticing the screw-ups that the judges pointed out just because the whole freakin thing just looked screwed up to me.

Best quote of the night from Lil C re: this jam: "Uhm...Ok...Uhm..."

Dance #2
Choreographer: Tyce Diorio
Jazz
Despite the fact that it felt like Mark should have been wearing leg warmers, I did dig this joint way more than their first jam. I do agree with Mary tho--at no point did I feel fired up. It was cute...and kinda gay and fun in a Studio 54 circa 1974 sort of a way. But also sort of blah, blah, meh.

Comfort & Twitch
Dance #1
Choreographer: Hunter Johnson
Smooth Waltz
Twitch successfully jammed his hand up Comfort's ass (something I've been wanting to do for several weeks now) for a seriously death defying lift , so that made me happy. But other than that this was just full on weird for me. I think Comfort brought Twitch's shit way down to Chinatown, and yet again there was no chemistry whatsoever between these two. Here's how I'm feelin' about this whole sitch: "Daym, Comfort...now we gots to vote your ass off AGAIN!?"

Dance #2
Choreographer: Dave Scott
Hip Hop
*Buck Alert
2 Hip Hoppers + 1 hot routine = FINALLY I don't hate that bitch Comfort. I'll give props when props are due and these two deserve props. I totally agreed with Nigel--this is the first motherfuckin time we've seen Comfort even show up this whole competition. Personally, its a bit too little too late for me, but I still dug this jam hard. The costumes, however, looked like they were sewn by a village of blind, retarded Asian child laborers...."for real, for real."

Katee & Will
Dance #1
Choreographer: Tyce Diorio
Broadway
Ok, so if he ripped open his shirt like that again I'd sail away with Will on a garbage barge down the Gowanus Canal. These two worked really, really well together and, again, I was diggin' the Broadway number from Tyce. The judges all got their first hard ons of the eve for these two, so I think we're all in agreement here. (Also can I get a "ding dong the witch is dead" shout out over the fact that Will has finally broken free from the slave chains of Jessica!?)

Dance #2
Choreographer: Desmond Richardson & Dwight Rhoden
Pas de Deux
[sidenote: hearing Cat pronounce "pah duh duh" just slayed me]
*Hot fuckin number ot he night alert!
This was beautiful, gorgeous, lovely and, yep, made Mary cry. I cried too, Mar, and that is the magic of this motherfuckin show. Wow. Wow. wow. These two were off the hizzy.

Chelsie & Gev
Dance #1
Choregorapher: Sonya
Contemporary
This music was alllll wrong for this number. ALL wrong. The choreography was interesting, but also still a little weird for me (and not weird/cool like Mark...just plain weird/weird). These two rocked it pretty well and seemed to sizzle a bit.

Dance #2
Choregorapher: Jean-Marc Generaux
Jive
Ok, so the jive ain't really my bag, but this was def hott. I'm pretty sure there's no one left in the studio who has not prayed at the alter of Chelsie's legs, so let's all give one more SYTYCD shoutout to the gorge-us-nuss of Chelsie: U are one hott, sexxy mama, chica. I didn't notice Gev slummin' it as much as the judges did, but Chels def was def shining bright during this jam.

As for the solos, I don't really have much to say except that they were all rockin. I did think that Gev's solo was off the hook though...and also he came up with a move with his tshirt that puts the one handed bra dismount to shame.

K, so here are my bottom two Honeys:
*Comfort
*Kherrington

And bottom two Homos:
*Gev
*Mark

And goin home?: Comfort & Gev

Let your fingers do the walking people,
me

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