Dear Britney, ***
I'm so excited I can barely type this bullshit out right now.
These MTV promos you shot with 2008 VMA host Russell Brand dropped today, and HOLY CRAP, Brit! You look absolutely A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E...and pretty...and so freakin sweet. Even your weave looks bangin!
I'm not feelin' the whole elephant in the room shtick (like at all), but its OK because its obvs that you are trying hard, and it was sorta a cute idea, and mostly its just sooooo great to see you not looking like a two bit whore/insane person/crackhead/white trash skank! SOOOOO great!
And this whole thing--like with you wearin' lipgloss-n-shit and lookin all cute for the first time in god knows how long--it just reminded my ass that its time for you to get onto the fucking comeback trail already.
I know you probs aren't gonna perform at the VMA's after the epic catastrophe that went down last year, but even if you're just swingin by to show your face, can you please, please, please promise me that you will let someone do your goddammed hair? AND your freakin makeup? And that you'll wait to take your oxycontin/xanax/valium/whatever until AFTER the show instead of before?
Pretty please, Brit? With cheetos on top??
SYTYCD is over, and the stupid Olympics R on, and the Montauk Monster was fake, and we still don't have an official 2008 summer jam, so we could all just really use a pick me up, ya know?
Kiss Madonna again if you have to...I don't really give a shit. Just make it work, K?
crazy for you,