OK, 'Girl On The Loose' Fucking ROCKS! (Also, I Think I Might Be In Love With Pamela Anderson)

Dear Pam, ***

Here's a quick list of just about the last motherfucking things I need in the world right now:

a. A new goddammed TV show to become obsessed with (as is, my Tivo left me the following note the other day: Do you have a freakin job or what? Leave me alone).
b. A new girl crush.

So, against my better judgment, I tuned into your new show on E!, Girl on the Loose, this weekend.

I was fully prepared to lump your ass in with Dina Lohan and Denise Richards, and all those other stupid reality shows that I "watch." And by "watch" I mostly mean that I half way listen to what's going on while I mindlessly surf the internet and download infomercials for WEN® by Chaz Dean-n-shit.

But I watched your show anyway...and was pretty much immediately fucking mesmerized.

Here's why: it looks totally gorgeous (like an old art movie with these really grainy, saturated shots), and YOU look totally gorgeous, and you are so not dumb (!?), and you do not exploit your kids, and you like architecture and then, of course, I think it took me all of about 12 minutes to become both completely obsessed AND fall head over heels in love with you.

And, truthfully, its gotten pretty bad, pretty fast. I mean, like I don't even have any problems with the white gold tiles you want for your pool OR the fact that you tend to do your "diary" confessional moments while floating naked in your tub because you had a freakin' yard sale for PETA and your assistant has been working for you for 15 years (!). That shit speaks volumes, Pammy.

So, like yeah.

Clearly I already have a pretty major problem.

In fact, I'm almost a little angry about it. I mean, I kinda feel cheated that I never realized what a fucking rock star you were until now.

You're Pam-tastic! (not to be confused with pan-tastic!)

And, of course, it seems like most people still don't fucking get it...because you didn't scream at your housekeeper and fire her during the first ep or accidentally set your kid up for an audition with a porn director.

And everyone is all about the dramz.

But, back off bitches!

Cause you care about the environment, and animal rights, and going to your kids soccer games...and that's like really sweet.

So, I'm totally a convert...a Pam-vert?...a pervert?

Whatever.

You rule.

blonde ambition,
me

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