Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Hills S4: 11 - The Fall Of JustinBobby? (Yeah, Right)


Dear Everyone, ***

Honestly, I can't concentrate on a goddamn Hills related thing until someone can tell me where the fuck Lo is!? It's been like three weeks with ZERO mention of LO, and this shit is srsly pissing me off now!

Are you OK, LO? Do you need help? Money? WTF?? You missed a trip to Cabo!

In other sad news, I guess I just need to accept the fact that Audrina-n-JustinBobby are the Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love of The Hills, and be done with it (*yes I realize that I could make some sort of sick and twisted joke here, but even I don't have the strength). Also, when the hell did JB become friends with the Frankie and Brody and the gang? Like, I don't understand how his ass got invited to Cabo when Audy didn't want him there. Though I also don't understand why Audy didn't want him there since last week she was all taking off her bikini top in the pool, ignoring Corey and generally just being all "i'm in love with JB again-n-shit."

So, yeah...everyone went to Cabo for Brody's birthday. At last count I think 9 out of the 11 eps this season took place around someone's motherfuckin' birthday, so way to stay on point MTVers. And happy birthday, bra.

I was sooo waiting for that moment when Brody, et al were walking down the beach only to run into Spencer & Heidi who'd be all "Hey! What are you guys doing here! How funny that we just happened to end up in Cabo on the same weekend!," but as it turned out Speidi had bigger fish to fry in the the land of la.

Seems She Pratt is all cuddly and snuggly with her new BF Cameron and thought it would be a good idea to introduce this new dude to Spence-n-Heids. Raise your hand if you think that was a good idea...

(................)

Right.

Surprise surprise: Spence acted like a dick; Cameron hated him; and She Pratt was embarrassed.

Back down in Meh-he-ko, JustinBobby got all jel of Audrina in one of his usual "I don't give a shit about you until you start getting interested in someone else" emotional predator moments. He was playing all sorts of mind games with Dreens and bitch was crumbling faster than a house of cards. You could actually look at her face and almost see the tornado of confusion brewing in her sad, little brain over all this JustinBobbyness.

Thank gawd she had LC to talk her down from the ledge, but ZOMG, looks like next week she might be right back in JustinBobaritoville! Can you believe it!?

Yeah, me neether.

I really can't believe it at all.

the rest is still unwritten,
me

P.S. WHERE IS LO, MOTHERFUCKERS! If anoyone tracks down her whereabouts, please let me know immieds...

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2 comments:

the FoOl said...

I don't know the characters names on this show because I don't watch it, but I want the world to know that I would do sick, sick things to the brunette I see in the still shots of your Hills posts.

Seriously. Perverted. Things.

Things that would prevent me from ever gaining access to heaven (ever) and you know what? I wouldn't even mind because if I could only for a moment bury my face in her midsection I would feel as though I had already been there.

God damn it she makes me feel alive.

Dear Famous A$$hole said...

@the FoOL: That's Audrina. She is hott, HOTT, hot. Check this shiz out.


She has, perhaps, one of the most perfect bodies I've ever "seen"...though you best not talk while you're busy doing all of those perverted things to her. She is dumb as dirt. Probably dumber, actually. In fact, I think I just insulted dirt everywhere by saying that. Sorry dirt.