Wednesday, October 1, 2008

OHHHH...Sarah Palin Is A Fucking Genius! My Bad



Dear Everyone, ***

So, I saw the third part of the Sarah Palin interview with Katie Couric that aired last night. I watched the whole thing from start to finish, and all I can really say at this point is: WOW.

(.......)

(.......)

You don't exactly need to delve into "Colonel Mustard, with the knife, in the Library" type Clue shit in order to glean the fact that I think SP is a whiny, crazy, right-wing, bobble-headed freaky bitch. I mean, she's obvs dumb as dirt and honestly I think we're all enjoying the shit out of watching her stumble, stammer and generally fuck shit up for the McCain-iac and her party.

I love that her daughter is knocked up...and that she probs had an affair...and that her views on everything are so ridick and extreme, I don't feel one little iota of regret that I regularly post inflammatory shit about her and her and her daughter's baby daddy on my blog.

In fact, out of all the famous assholes in the world right now, she's mos def the ass-holiest for me.

But this one T-O-T-A-L-L-Y threw me for a friggin loopdy loop...and honestly, changes everything:

COURIC: And when it comes to establishing your world view, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read, before you were tapped for this, to stay informed and to understand the world?

PALIN: I've read most of them again with a great appreciation for the press for the media, I mean...

COURIC: Like what ones specifically? I'm curious that you...

PALIN: Um, all of 'em, any of 'em that um have been in front of me over all these years, um...

COURIC: Can you name any of them?

PALIN: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news too. Alaska isn't a foreign country where it's kind of suggested it seems like, wow how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, DC may be thinking and doing, when you live up there in Alaska. Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.
ZOMGS, y'all! Sarah Palin reads EVERY newspaper and mag. Like in the whole wide world!

No wonder she gets confused about the fax here and there...she's got TMI runnin' around that adorable little head of hers!

She reads every single solitary newspaper and magazine in the whole universe!

How could she possibly be expected to remember:

*Time
*Newsweek
*The Economist
*The New Yorker
*Guns-n-Ammo
*Vanity Fair
*Popular Mechanics
*Men's Health
*Women's Health
*Bazaar
*Vogue
*Us Weekly
*Star
*OK!
*Wired
*Entertainment Weekly
*Allure
*Weight Watchers
*Martha Stewart Living
*In Style
*Modern Bride
*High Times
*Radar
*New York
*NJ Living
*Field & Stream
*Screenwriter
*The Hollywood Reporter
*Variety
*Forbes
*Food & Wine
*Woman's Day
*Ladies Home Journal
*Maxim
*Travel & Leisure
*Traditional HOme
*Car & Driver
*Popular Science
*Fortune
*Entrepreneur
*Elle
*Blender
*Metropolitan Home
*Sports Illustrated
*Smithsonian
*Essence
*Boating
*Cookie
*Parents
*Nylon
*Wallpaper
*Interview

OR

*New York Times
*New York Post
*New York Daily News
*Wall Street Journal
*Financial Times
*Washington Post
*Boston Herald
*Miami Herald
*Los Angeles Times
*USA Today
*Chicago Tribune
*Houston Chronicle
*Arizona Republic
*Newsday
*San Francisco Chronicle
*Dallas Morning News
*Newark Star-Ledger
*Philadelphia Inquirer
*Atlanta Journal-Constitution
*Minneapolis Star Tribune
*St. Petersburg Times
*Chicago Sun Times
*Telegraph
*Detroit Free Press
*Sacramento Bee

I mean, it all makes perfect sense now!

For serious, people.

You try it!

Try reading ALL of those newspapers and magazines in one day. Every single one of them. "All of 'em, any of 'em." And then try sitting down with a know-it-all newscaster like Katie Couric who is obvies just practiciing "gotcha Journalism" in order to stump you up. Then try to remember the answer to any fucking question on the planet!

ANY ONE OF EM'.

I dare you!

I double dawg dare you!

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE, PEOPLE. COMPLETELY FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE.

How can someone who reads every single fucking last one of those newspapers and mags above be expected to:
a. Remember the name of any single one of those newspapers and mags above
b. Know the answers to questions relating to topics or issues discussed in any one of the newspapers or mags above.

Holy. Freakin. Ridiculousness! Right!?

RIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHTTT!?

Case closed.

Sarah Palin = Albert Einstein.

They're exactly the fucking same, people.

It's so obvious now.

knowledge is power,
woe is me

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

God Help Us All. I think I read that in a paper called THE NEW YORK TIMES YOU CRAZY BITCH!

mimi said...

HA! Really unbelievable. That woman is frightening...