Monday, October 6, 2008

Back Off Bias...Michael Cera Is My Boyfriend

Dear Michael Cera, ***

Ok, so yes, I do write a blog called Dear Famous Asshole.

And yes, perhaps I can (at times) be not so nice to fame ass people on this blog who may not necessarily deserve it.

So, I guess I have no right whatsoever to get pissed over the fact that people are now launching a Michael Cera backlash.

But still.

WTF, my bbs?

Fuck it.

I'm fucking pissed anyway.

I mean, frankly, you're so goddammed cute its retarded.

Also I saw Nick and Norah's Infiinite Playlist this weekend, and despite early whining from the critics, it was totally j'adorable (anyone who saw it and didn't think it was 100% j'adore to the max is either: so tragically hip I don't care what they have to say; an emotional zombie; a frat boy meathead who got dragged to the movie by some chick and shouldn't have been there in the first place).

And so now everyone is talking about the fact that you are a one trick pony and you keep playing the same character and yadda, yadda, yadda. And I don't disagree that it would be rad to see you branch out a bit and try some other types of roles. BUT, and this is a big but, I also sort of feel like so the fuck what!?

I mean, who are we really kidding here?? Aren't most actors making bazillions of dollars playing variations of the same roles in most of the movies they do? Angelina Jolie is usually the tough, kick ass bitch, George Clooney is usually the suave but lonely hero, Penelope Cruz is usually the fiery, misunderstood vamp. I mean, yeah...of course there are exceptions of actors breaking out and trying new things, but I think most people end up doing similar roles because:

a. that's what they're good at
b. that's what fans want to see them in

So basically, I think that everyone really needs to STFU about you.

You are so not over.

You are a motherfucking rockstar...and everyone who doesn't think so can eat it.

you know you want,

p.s. I just read that you are starring in the film version of one of my favorite books on the planet: Youth In Revolt by C.D. Payne. You are soooo my boyfriend it's not even funny.

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Anonymous said...

oh nonononono. I let you have Bo Burnham even though he is a super hottie. You will not take Michael Cera too!

Dear Famous A$$hole said...

anon: I see your point and I *do* sympathize, however, methinks you might need your own blog with which to "claim" celebs as your own. In the meantime, sorry...they're all mine!

mwah hah haaaaaa!