SYTYCD Week 3 Eliminations: Chelsea & Chris Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200 Benjis

Dear Everyone, ***

First off if any of you l00zers are sick enough to be engaging in some sort of high-level Vegas type betting for this show, I would H-I-G-H-L-Y suggest you stick your asses around here. Notice who was right the fuck on with her week one elimination predictions!? ME, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Ok, so now Nigel is wearing leather too?!

Also, this dance crew, Qwest, rawked my freakin' face off, you?



So Chris: You're so adorable I might actually submit your pic to that site Cute Overload :) You're flushed cheeks just slay me. On a dance competition on Bravo or somethin', you'd probably totally kill, but this is the pro leagues homes, and you're just not there yet. On a sidenote, you didn't leap enough for me, dude--it started looking like you were afraid to to let your feet not be touchin' the floor. Catch some air! I will always remember your ass as the nilla who Krumped like a champ and got Nigel to masturbate on stage, and that's pretty major.

Chelsea: You were a great dancer and seemed to have lovely technique, but if we're bein really real with each other, it certainly didn't help matters that you were a cute, sassy Black girl with short hair. I'm sure you know that a cute, sassy Black girl with short hair won last year so, yeah...there was that.

On the plus side, you'll both have way more time now to ponder the fact that Jordin Sparks wrote your annoying summer anthem:

"One step at a time, there's no need to rush.
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love.
It's gonna happen when
it's supposed to happen. When we find the reasons why"

Play.
Repeat.

One step at a time,
me

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